It is true that more kids are taken by people they know. I talk about his in the Stranger Danger page. However, there are still predators out there that prey on unsuspecting children who’s parents are distracted or not there for some reason. It is still a threat that me must take seriously if we have children.
Watch this frightening video from the Today Show (July 2016). Then read the tips to ensure it never happens to you and your kids.
It is important to teach children to be alert and what to do in the case of an attempted abduction.
I believe it is important to teach children how to avoid being seized, how to resist a potential captor and how to escape. It is also important to teach them these simple safety rules:
Safety Rules
1. Don’t walk away with anyone other than a parent, or the person who was already arranged to take care of you that day.
2. Remember, an adult does not need help from a child — not to find a puppy, not for anything. If an adult is asking you for help, that’s a warning sign.
3. Avoid getting into a car with a stranger at all costs.
4. Know the rules: what is OK and what is not OK, and have confidence to take action if you feel someone is trying to take advantage of you.
Communicate
The most important thing parents can do is to communicate openly with their children at home. Have a home atmosphere in which kids can let you know what is going on in their life. A very important point is to re-learn old concepts of adult/children interaction. Teach your child his rights. He has the right to say “no.” Children should know there are different rules for different situations; they don’t have to always be polite. Politeness can translate into doing what the potential abductor says.
Children are Most Vulnerable When Alone
Individuals who prey on children wait for an opportunity when the child is alone. Children should not be outside their home by themselves, even for short periods of time. They should walk to and from school and bus stops in groups.
Working together with other families in your neighborhood to develop a formal plan for kids to walk together is a good idea.
Parents are encouraged to join or organize a Neighborhood Watch program in their community.
Teach Your Child Techniques to Avoid Being Taken
In any potential abduction situation, there are windows of opportunity for the child to make choices that could save his or her life. Abductors win through intimidation, so it is very important to give your child good self-esteem and the confidence to carry through these possibly life-saving techniques. Consider practicing these techniques at home or school, with other parents and kids. The more kids practice, the more they will remember these techniques, and the more secure and confident they will feel in following through if they ever have to.
1. Run away! Sprint away as fast as possible to a safe place. Discuss with children safe places.
2. The Velcro technique — Make like Velcro: Grab and hold onto something and do not let go. Grab a tree, grab a bike, grab a stop sign post, or even grab a different adult, because another adult is not usually involved in an abduction. This makes it harder to disengage a child in an attempted abduction.
3. Yell as loud as you can “Stop, Stranger!” — Teach your child that anyone that is not a mother or father is in the new definition of a stranger if they are trying to take you away.
4. Windmill technique or swimming technique — Rotate arms in a big circle, preventing attacker from getting a good grip. This can turn attackers arms inside out — which is a weaker position from which he could grab hold of the child.
5. Make a lot of noise — Give a child a whistle on a necklace and teach them to blow on that whistle when they might be in danger. Bang on something, scream, be loud to call attention from others who might be able to help. A good commotion can frighten an abductor and by shifting the balance of power, turn the tables on them.
6. Drop and spin on the ground, wrapping around the ankles and legs of the would be abductor as you scream and yell to attract attention.
Role Play with Your Kids
Act like a stranger and see how your children react. Teach them the proper way to respond. Kids should:
•Run away.
•Yell loudly.
•Say exactly what is happening
Examples:
“Help, this is not my Dad.”
“Help, this is not my Mom.”
“Help, I’m being kidnapped.”
“Help, call the police.”
If Children just scream, people may think they are only throwing a temper tantrum.
The more you practice the better your children will be at responding to difficult situations.
Tell Your Kids To Stay Away From Cars
A car or other vehicle is often the means by which the abductor removes the child from the neighborhood. Children should never approach a vehicle unless they are absolutely sure they know the occupants. Abductors entice children to walk near their vehicles and then pull them inside.
If children routinely see the same car parked (or following them) on their normal walking routes (to and from school, etc.) they should report it to trusted adults immediately.
How to escape from a car
If a child is somehow placed into a car by an abductor, there is usually a three-hour window of opportunity. The abductor doesn’t usually hurt the child immediately — there is time to escape if the child-learned-behavior allows the child not to panic and be reactive. Therefore, it is helpful for children to know methods of escaping, such as the following:
1. Reach for the door and try to get out immediately.
2. Do not be passive. In a four-door car, the child can jump in the backseat and try the door quickly.
3. If the child is placed in a trunk, don’t panic: Look for a panel in the trunk that comes right out when you pull on it. Tear the wires to the tail-lights and brakes. Police might then pull the abductor over.
Abductors are often someone whom the child knows
Abductors don’t usually fit the stereotypical profile of a scary, creepy stranger or dirty old man. Motives are often sexual and most are not true strangers. They target children and seek their confidence by developing a casual relationship with them. Family abductors make up the majority of kidnap offenders, as in a custody battle.
Final safety reminders for parents
1. Know where your children are, and know who they know.
2. Pay attention to changes in your child’s behavior.
3. Never leave your child alone in a public place, car, or stroller.
4. Never ask a stranger to hold your baby, even for an instant.
5. Don’t label their lunch boxes or clothing.
6. Don’t let children go out alone. Remember the buddy system in swimming.
7. Teach your child their telephone number, how to contact you and a close friend.
8. Pay attention to threats.
9. In custody battles, get social security, credit card numbers, and addresses.
10. Take a lot of photos of your child and keep them current.
11. Keep dental and medical records.
12. Have a neighborhood meeting so that children know safe houses in the neighborhood where they can run in the case of an emergency.
13. Never open the door without having a secret password between you and your child.
14. Older children should be encouraged to use their critical thinking and intuition, and to anticipate, for example, slow-driving cars in front of a neighborhood or playground.
Remember, above all else, safety first. Prevention is the key. Develop a family plan of action for emergency and crisis situation, and practice and rehearse them with your children through role modeling and role-playing. Teach your children the rules, and give them the confidence they need to be able to follow through on the escape techniques outlined above. Emphasize your child’s right of privacy and ownership, and that sexual advances from adults are against the law.
If they are involved and invested, children are more likely to remember and take action if someone tries to abduct them. We have to empower our kids to help keep them safe.
Research on this page included an article by Dr. Gail Gross and the Illinois State Police website. Thank you to these resources and everyone else helping to keep children safe.
Strategies for Preventing Abductions
About 2,100 missing-children reports are filed each day in the U.S. Many cases might be solved more easily if parents can provide a few key pieces of information about their kids, like: height, weight, eye color, and a clear recent photo. And make sure your kids have the safety information that could help prevent an abduction.
These strategies may help:
•Make sure custody documents are in order.
•Have ID-like photos taken of your kids every 6 months and have them fingerprinted. Many local police departments sponsor fingerprinting programs.
•Keep your kids’ medical and dental records up to date.
•Make online safety a priority. The Internet is a great tool, but it’s also a place for predators to stalk kids. Be aware of your kids’ Internet activities and chat room “friends,” and remind them never to give out personal information. Avoid posting identifying information or photos of your kids online.
•Set boundaries about the places your kids go. Supervise them in places like malls, movie theaters, parks, public bathrooms, or while fundraising door to door.
•Never leave kids alone in a car or stroller, even for a minute.
•Choose caregivers — babysitters, childcare providers, and nannies — carefully and check their references. If you’ve arranged for someone to pick up your kids from school or day care, discuss the arrangements beforehand with your kids and with the school or childcare center.
•Avoid dressing your kids in clothing with their names on it — children tend to trust adults who know their names.
These strategies for preventing abductions from Kids Health.